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YUSNIZA, yussy, yus, iza .
18, 210691, Gemini
SP, Human Resource Management with Psychology
Modern Dancer, SDZ
Brown, Chocolates w/o nuts, White roses, Jellybeans, Marshmallows (:

Do TAG, love you! (:

I was extra moody plus headache today. Sincere apologies from me, girls, if I kept swearing and pissing everyone off. Alex made it worse when he says that we certainly need to buck up for CA2. When tutors say that, it only mean one thing: We screwed up the paper. I was even more disappointed when I could get an A for EC. I mean, come on man, I totally focus on EC for that A. And she gave me a B. Funny thing is, I couldn't score on my language. Content, understandable, but language? Sigh.

No As for this CA1. OMG! Yussy is dead...

Thank god for dance today. I was practically dragging my feet to MPH. But yeah, today's dance was nice and somewhat requires a lot of expression. Daniel took over today and gosh! He's versatile man... Ooh. There's another upcoming dance audition for contemporary waves performance, so yeah, I got to practise again. And, there's the freestyle part too. WTH!

I need Ms Jenny! I'll be coming back soon to RS I guess. I really really need a place to practise. I mean, a REAL studio. Not just T11A. Because if not, I'll be like sweeping the floor for the cleaners. Gahh!!!

Not looking forward to Hip Hop on Wednesday because it'll mean backaches and sore muscles. On top of that, I'm dreading the 10 rounds man! It'll be nice if it rain every Wednesday. Sigh. Maybe I'll stop going for Beginner's Class instead... Hmm...

My tummy kept making noises today. I think I have indigestion... =P

Lecture at 9am tomorrow. Gahh! Rush hour again!

I slept at 2.30am yesterday. Know why? Because I waited for your fucking reply. And you didn't. Thank god I fell asleep halfway. I wondered if you still cared. And I wondered if you do still remember me. I didn't eve know why I fucking did that. Probably because I missed you so much. The feeling will never change, will it?

I'm watching SATC online now. And it's buffering ever so slowly. Bloody hell.

I have no mood to study today. I only read 2 chapters of FOM, and after that, my brain went dead.

School officially starts tomorrow and I still havent get over my holiday mood. SIGH.

I, Yusniza Bte Mohamed Yusoff, really need to wake up from my dream and work hard and accept reality instead of running away from it. I want to prove to people that I can do well. I really want and need to buck up. I will learn to accept the fact that I'm weak, and that I'll learn from my mistakes instead of running from it. I will try hard to conquer my weakest point, because only then it'll make me stronger. I will learn to accept criticism from others to improve myself. And lastly, I shall start to commit myself to *** in good and bad times.

This is beginning of a new life, an opportunity for me to do well, and yet I've wasted almost a quarter of it, doing practically nothing. Hopefully, it's not too late.

It'll be hard, but I'm sure I can do this. If people can do it, so can I. We are all humans, not superheroes.

I'll work hard to give something for my parents to be proud of and shut their mouth up.

I can do this. I can do this.

**this post shall be my motivator, since I can't rely on anyone else right now.

Elasticity drives me mad. Who cares about all this shit, when I don't think I'll be applying what I learn when I get into the workforce. Gahh! The school is just wasting out brain juice. Now its dry. And soon, it'll get very very dry and the whole brain will become like a prune.

I have to cover 1 more chapter (production and costs) for Econs before I can move on to the next module: FOM. =( So much for the end of CA1 huh? The next exam is just 3 bloody weeks away! School is shit man!

2 more days to real opening of school. I'm dreading it mann...

WHEE! Our second video taking was even more fun. especially the dressing up part! Kiwi and Zu dressed up like old people and me and Farrina dressed up as geeks! It's complete with huge bright bows, huge spectacles, high-waisted pants, long uneven socks and cute hairstyles. Hahah. Cuteee I tell you. Pictures are up at Friendster. =)

I'm so obsessed with hairbands and accessories... Contact lenses helps. With spectacles, I can't even put any hairband because the stick will be sticking out and it'll get very uncomfortable. So now, I can wear anything I want. Life is great! =)

I'll think I'll buy a nice tie tomorrow.

I'm dreading the real reopening of school. It'll be so chaos! And the next exam is 3 weeks away! Gahh! On top of that, Thursdays will be a torture because of sore muscles and leg cramps. Gahh! And Monday nights will be very rushing because MD ends late. I have to start revision now. =(

AND! ITAM still not done! So is CD! Gahh!!!

Kays, I'll go have dinner, and then come back to figure out how to do ITAM. I can do this!

I managed to complete FOM report in the evening, and then complete a whole Meg Cabot book from evening till now. I miss reading. The last time I read was 4 months ago?

BizIT Library rocks my socks. =)

Today's meeting was not a fruitful one. Everyone was very distracted by almost everything! From fake fingernails to sex to hot guys (this is my part!) to random topics... So,we'll be meeting AGAIN tomorrow for video-taking and hopefully, complete ITAM. Things for the video-taking has been bought (Daiso rocks mann!). Hopefully I can finish editing the video by tomorrow, and I can start on CD ppt slides.

Stupid SAM2003 hates me! BABI LAHHHH!

Bleargh! Econs paper even suck! I think I'm going to screw this tests up. FUCK! Such stupid questions which doesn't even make sense came out a lot. Gahh!!! So disappointing. So much for As huh?

Ok, so now, we have to concentrate on our ITAM, FOM and CD projects. Gahh!!! Girls, we do at T15 okayy???

I got cheated. =( And today's lunch sucked! ANDDD I miss dance... =(((

Project time tomorrow. Or is it "sight-seeing"? Eh Farrina eh!

Over and out!

*my post are getting shorter and shorter each day. GAhh!!*

He's starting to give me shit all over again. All those crap in that long long long long long (ok, I think you get it!) messages, I realised that he's really not going to give up. Once bitten, twice shy. I'm not giving you any more chances, boy. Because we're done! What we were two years back is History! You know what will make my life better? If you STOP giving me all those shit!

Gahh! I'm so pissed off. I suffered for two YEARS! TWO BLOODY YEARS! Zu, you know how I feel right? Hellppppp! Tolonggggg! SOS! Let's put our heads together babe and brainstorm.

I don't even know why I wasted this space on my blog to blog about this. Sigh.

PACC was a letdown. The idiot Suspense account just refused to cooperate with me. Thank god I could balance the trial balance for the first question. Gahh! AND, the study theory question came out. Like WTF?

Last paper tomorrow: Econs. Hopefully everything will go well. And hopefully, such stupid questions will not come out tomorrow.

Studying time! Gahh!

It's such a huge letdown. You didnt even remember. There wasn't a single beep from you for the past few months. And I thought you said you'll wait? And that you'll never give up?

The things you gave, I just feel like throwing all of them away, even though they costed you a bomb. What's the use of keeping them, when you'll never come back? Those memories, the good and bad, they are beginning to hurt me now.

Maybe I'm just not good enough for you.

I'm tired of waiting. I really am. Goodbye.

Why I am even tearing? Fuck.

Gah! I havent been getting enough sleep lately. I stayed up to study, and wake up early to study again. This cycle will go on till the next holiday. Sigh. And I thought polytechnic life is free?

Thank YOU mummy for the sleeping ELMO. It's damn cute and furry. Haha. I have like 6 soft toys with me now. A rabbit, a hippo, a bear, a mickey, spongebob and the latest member, Elmo. Haha. I have more, but I don't know where they went...

I'm getting fat. My cheeks are more chubby, my legs seemed to grow sideways instead of upwards. Ahh!!!

After Tuesday, there'll be more presentations coming up. =(

I spent my birthday SHOPPING!!!!

I bought a Converse sports shoe (91RM after discount. Cheap like shitt mannnn!), sandals, 2 formal shirts and a dress. I made my Mom really broke. Haha.

Ok, back to studying Econs and PACC. Gahhh! The thought of it makes me shiver.

Study date at Starbucks tomorrow. Hopefully, it'll be a fruitful one! =)

Thank you, Nadz, Shaf, Nadiah, Rian, Zul, Peishan, Vanne, Chorchuan, Louis, Yixin, Waner, Cindy, Farina, Kiwi, Alyssa, Qraisha, Hanna, Zub for all the birthday wishes last night. (Did I miss anyone out? If I do, do tag!)

Special thanks to Rian and Zul for waiting till 12am with me. Such sweet guys. Aww...

Many many thanks to Cindy for the rabbit and the hand-made card! <333 Oh and Mom and Big Brother for the $100. =)

I love my friends many many! Who needs the other half when I have such great friends? =)

Ok, back to studying Econs. 2 more tutorials to be completed. I can do this!

I can't believe it. I actually spent the time for my personal birthday countdown doing Econs tutorial. Great or whattt? I'm turning into a geek. And I don't know if studying to the maximum helps, because no matter how much time I spent studying, I always score badly. Sigh. It's fate.

Yay! Shopping tomorrow!!! Can't wait! And it's sushi time! Yums!

Gahh! I'm a jinx when it comes to shopping. I saw this ultra cool hoodie at Cotton On for $15, but the size was rather big. I tried it on and I think it looks nice. Thennn, when I go to Cotton on Body next door, there is another hoodie which is wayy nicer and fits me well and it only cost $20. !@#^&* Idiot me! WAHLAU!!!!!!

I bought a tee on impulse too. =(

I spent $55 today. Shit.

I hate Cotton On so muchhh! Everytime I go into the store, I will surely come out with a shopping bag. Sigh. I counted the clothes in my wardrobe and I have 10 items from Cotton On.

Sigh. I saw another him today. Wahlau! I think I'm really a jinx la!!!! Whenever I go out, I will surely see either him or him. Sigh.

Ok, I shall revise my tutorials tonight. Exams start on Monday and I can still go out tomorrow. WTH?! I'm feeling rather guilty now.

Exactly 6hrs 18mins to Sweet 17!

I need to slap myself awake. This is reality, not a fairytale. Sigh.

I think I finished revising everything. Its just that my mind will not be at ease when I'm not revising. I shall be re-reading my tutorials for like the umpteen times for the next few days. Sigh. Thank god we only have two papers.

Oh gosh! I sure hope that there will not be any lesson after the Econs paper onwards for the whole week. I think our group needs all the time we can grab to finish up our projects. And we havent touch CD at all.... Sigh

I don't know why I'm feeling so fucked up right now. Hopefully, the short shopping trip will make me feel better. I need a breather.

Sigh. I still can't accept reality and I still don't want to accept reality.

Shit. Somebody slap me. I need it.

Oh tidaaakkkkkkkkk!!!!!

I swear, I walk like a pengiun today. Haha.

I had to stay home and study instead of joining Vanne at the library. Because I don't want people to stare at me when I walk.

Ok, 1 and 3/4 chapters done. 2 and 1/4 more to go. Jiayou!

I just realise something. My birthday is in two days time! So fast ah? Omg! No wonder I feel so old and retarded.

Muscleache, stomach cramps, painful spine... Bah! It's all part of being a dancer. =/

Dance was fun. (Yeah, because of the eye-candy. Lol) The steps are getting more challenging. AND, it rained today. So we don't have to run at the basketball court. We had to jog/jump/don't-know-what on the spot instead, which I think is wayyyy better! I wish every training is like this.

I'll be spending my birthday at Johore shopping for some stuff and probaby going back to Kampong. Great or what?? I was just thinking of waking up late on my birthday...

I seriously have nothing to post about... Bah!

I made a stupid decision to not bring a jacket to the fucking cold library. So now, I'm suffering in the cold cold place. Yussy is so stupid!

I woke up late today. Was planning to go jogging at 7am but I couldnt wake up. Bah! Forget it lah. I'm having muscle pain and all. I'll just suffer tomorrow during hip hop.

I finished up my PACC exam papers (2nd attempt!) and I'm only left with memorising about market equilibrium and go through the tutorials (which I seriously don't understand a single fucking shit!)... Just my luck!

I seriously am fucking cold!

Woke up early to meet up for projects. Bah! I almost feel asleep whilst standing in the train. Yes, standing. ITAM PBL assignment made it even worse! I swear, I could just die there. I battled halfway, and then give up. Nevermind, I'll find my ways to win! Just watch out, you stupid ITAM! I'll never give up!

Went to pool and played arcade at Guilt House for a while before heading to town to check out Giordano. I was practically dozing off while waiting for food to arrive (thanks Zu!) and the headache refused to go away. Had to become paparazzi for the day. Shall not elaborate or someone'll sue me... haha...

Rushed back to school for dance. Dance was great and there was some form of encouragement (Kan Farrina kan!) so hell yeah, it's fun. Love the choreography! Hates the techniques... And I think I injured my middle toe while jumping. Tsk tsk, yus yus...

Ok, I'm debating whether to go for dance next week or not. Let's see how the studying goes... =)

Gahh! PACC sucks. I shall redo my past year papers again. The mistakes I made are all careless. Irritating or what?

I'm going to start Econs today. =(

Promises are meant to be kept, BODOH! If you can't keep a promise, you might as well don't make one! Now, I've spent my money and you only tell me now. If I never have asked, you'll never tell...

Last week of holiday. And one more week to my birthday. Great! So not looking forward to it. In fact, my birthday is never important to me. =X

Finally, after having to crack my brains for the project, I got to enjoy myself, for a day.

Went shopping with Cindy! =) Talked a lot in train rides, and I think I talked too loudly =P Went around to find toilets to take pictures. The nicest toilet is the one at Far East Basement. It's in PINK! Bought a shoe, 2 bangles and 2 loop earrings. (And I thought I'm broke?)

I saw him, TWICE! Sigh. It almost dampen my shopping spirit.

I got a Rabbit from Cindy... Whee! I remembered that I kept staring at the soft toy when I was working at MTW. And I got it! I think we have telepathy. Haha

No one can replace my Cindy Chew Meiling. =) 8 years of friendship and still counting!

I swear, I'm on the verge of crying. Stupid fucking projects and exams!!!!!!! 3 weeks to do all that PLUS resting is so NOT enough.

Pushing us to the limit is no use. Unless you really want DHRMP people to all become crazy after graduating.

Motha-fcuker!

Was supposed to study in school today. But we studied till like 11 plus, ate KFC at Foodcourt 5 and then went to Alumni Guilt House to play pool. My first time playing pool, and yeah, I do suck. Haha... I kept doing ball stunts (the ball kept bouncing! I don't know how I did it, but yeah) and I kept losing control of the stick and hit the ball accidentally. I made a fool of myself luh. Sigh. Malu!

Next time we try the karaoke and the arcade and the pools there with the rest ok? I didnt know there's such fun places at SP. Whee!

Meeting Cindy Chew Meiling tomorrow! Whee! Maybe at the same time, I'll go find more clothes for dance. =)

I have yet to buy sports shoes, pumps and formal wear. Sigh...

Ok, better start my FOM project now... I have yet to start Econs ok! =(

NB! I can't walk straight. I can't go up and down the stairs. My legs kept wobbling. This is the result of not having intensive dancing for 12345678910111213 MONTHS! The training today was VERY intensive (to me lah! since I havent been exercising properly for so long!). Ran 10 rounds, crunches, push-ups, and other funny funny things they made us do... AND it lasted for almost 3 hours, since I stupidily signed up for the beginner's course as well. Sigh... Nvm, I shall endure... The steps taught were rather nice but hard to master. I miss dance at RS. I shall go back after my MST and projects.

I took like 45 mins to put in lenses in school today. Farrina kept showing me how easily she put in, but yeah, I failed... I don't care about techniques anymore! I'll just stash it in like mad!

Studying with Farrina tomorrow at T15! Cuci mater eh! Whee! Ok yus, get down to business.

Schizo knows my name. Not good...

Today was contact lenses day. I took an hour trying on and removing them. My verdict? Wahlao, it sucks man! But it's a nice feeling, being able to see clearly without spectacles since the age of 10. I suffered for 7 bloody years!

I have 1 more chapter left of PACC. Yay! But I havent touch Econs, at all. Including other subjects like IP and FOM... =(

The dentist kept calling me, persuading me to extract my tooth. Irritating HOT guy! Sigh

Thank god meet up for project is cancelled today. Or else, I'll be in pain the whole time!

I woke up this morning with my head pumping like mad. It turned out that the gum around the wisdom tooth area is bloody fucking swollen like a big big DHL balloon. Ok, exaggerated. I couldn't close my mouth, I couldn't talk and all I could do was to pray. It became worse i the afternoon so I asked Diy to tag along to the dental clinic. (thank god for her!)

Did x-ray, had some consultation from the dentist (he's rather hot! =)) and he gave me two jabs to numb the gum area to ease the pain. And I felt like I just went botox! I had speech problem and I talked with half of my mouth moving. It was an ugly sight.

So far, the pain is almost gone now and I can take in solid food. So I'm still debating whether to do the operation. I'll see if it still hurts tomorrow. If not, maybe I'll go to another cheaper place for another consultation. They wanted a whooping $700 for the extraction, for only 1 tooth!

Sigh. God's creation...

I had to miss Modern Dance because of this. Sigh. I'm not the kind who misses dance ok! But for this time, I gave in! I'm so going to come for Hip Hop, even if it's hurting again!

Contact lenses day tomorrow! OMFG! I can't believe this. Thank god for Diy. Love you girlfriend. =D

I love my girlfriends. They are always there for me when I needed them. Thank you god for giving me such great friends.

I think my wisdom tooth is growing. The back part of my gum is very swollen and I can't chew properly... I can't take solid food. =( Painful le... =(

I don't know how to survive tomorrow in school. Maybe I can ask the babes to do at foodcourt 3 or 5... =(

CB! I'm so fucking fed-up staying at home!

I went to buy contact lenses just now and it costed like almost $100. None of the shops told me about having to buy 2 different boxes for different degrees. So yeah, even though it's hard to part with the money, I had to face it one day.(Ceh! I sound like I'm going through a battle!) I had to come back on Tuesday for consultation and practise on putting it on.(Nightmare! Thank god my girlfriends are going with me!)

Sigh. I hate home. Whenever a fight between my family breaks out, somehow, I'll be dragged into it. Even though I just sit there, as quiet as a mouse, doing nothing. I rather go to school everyday and meet my friends. Only I know how much I suffered staying in this house.

I just can't wait to get married and move out. 10 more years, yussy!

I think I'll stay in the library tomorrow and study PACC and Econs. I rather be tired and have peace rather than having to face all this SHIT!

I just can't wait for next week. I'll be out the whole on Monday, out for contacts and probably shopping on Tuesday and Hiphop starts on Wednesday. And then outing with Cindy on Friday. Woots!

Ok, back to starting of revision of PACC. How come I get teh feeing that I'm goning to flunk all the tests?

Wah! My 100th post since end of last year! I deleted many accounts before this everytime it reaches 200. So yeah, a hundred more to go.

I'm emo-shitting now. So yeah, if you don't want to read crap, get lost. =P

You sent me that message as if nothing happened. As if you didn't do anything to me. As if you're innocent. I still think it's a stupid excuse. I mean, why tell me now? Why not immediately after all those messages that I sent you?

You know, the funny thing is that, whenever I think of you, I would keep reading that particular message. I would scroll the keys till I see your name. It suck. It really does.

Everything you gave me, and all the things that we shared, I kept it in a box, with a lock. The key? Whenever I miss you.

It's been like what? 8 months? And the feelings never change. At all... I will see how long you are going to make me wait. Because really, I swear, I'll keep waiting for you until the next one comes by.

Funny, with all the hurtful things you did to me, I still love you.

I really think I have split personality. I'm a Gemini after all. =(

The plan to go Johore tomorrow is cancelled. (I think!) Mainly because my mom went for the operation today, and the bump is healing, so she had to rest at home. I can't possibly go with my Aunt alone, so yeah.

I think I'm going to go find the shoes alone tomorrow if there are no replies. One thing that irritates me the most is people not replying. Sigh.

I was supposed to study today, but I'm not in the mood. My head seems to be throbbing like mad, and the words in the book seems to be swimming around me. I hate this feeling. Sigh.

OMG! I am fucking pissed off. I'm not interested means I'm not interested! Don't they understand simple English. Want me to talk in Chinese ah? wo mei you xing qu! Stupid SPP!

I admitted defeat. I can't walk in heels. I tried wearing heels today and I was suffering like hell. I decided to go home to change my shoes before meeting girlfriend for quick shopping. But heels do make me feel confident though. Maybe I'll try wearing a bigger-sized one or a better cutting. Oh wait, its not even heels. Sigh.

I have enough dresses. (I think!) I need more formal wear and proper heels and sandals! Oh yes, and sport shoe for dance. I fell in love with the Dance Collection From Fox. But, if I were to think twice, it's a little over the top to wear such clothes.

I self-declare that I'm a HUGE fan of Cotton On! =)

Our supposedly-to-discuss-projects today was not a fruitful one. We ended up checking out Giordano for our Marketing project.

I saw soooooooooo many contact lenses's advertisements today. Sigh.

I spent $50 in just 3 hours. I bought a male shirt (for myself!), a long shirt to be worn as dress and a dress. I fell in love with the male shirt, and even though it is for male and it's a little big for me, I still bought it. I swear, Cotton On rocks my socks. And I bought the dress from John Little (you know, the area where all the funny looking clothes are? I have to search really throughly. Like what Zu said, there's always a gem in the junk!) Yay! $50 gone just like that. And I have yet to search for my presentation clothes. Greaattt!

Thank god my birthday falls on GSS. Because usually I get money as a present from my Dad and my girlfriends usually buy things from my birthday list. So, being a June baby is not that bad after all, huh? So what if we are having holidays during my birthday! At least, I get to wake up late and watch late night movies. =P

I still can't believe it's already June. It seemed so fast. =(

Ok, my CD reflection is still not done (1 and half pages to go!) and we havent start on any projects AND I haven't start any revision for PACC and Econs. And these two subjects are my worst modules of all! Wait, I think all the modules are equally bad. Sigh. Why in the hell did I choose this course anyway? But nevermind, I have great friends so they are enough to keep me going. I love my babes.

Alrighto! Time for serious business.

Modern Dance was fun. Stretchings and the choreography was nice. I love it. It reminds me so much about the old dancing days. Usually, I'm one of the noisy ones, making weird noises and making lame jokes. Now, I'm a junior again, and have to keep things to myself during dance all the time. And the cycle keeps going on. And I really do miss Ms Jenny a lot. Wai Yee (I think thats her name) is rather on the strict side and firm. Ms Jenny is like funny2, make lame jokes kind of person. Even when she's in her strict mode, at times, I could'nt help but to laugh. I want to go back to RS.

My legs and back are aching real bad right now. It's been like a gazillion years ago since I stretched properly and now, I can barely move. Ok, enough about dance.

Sigh. It's hard to keep everyone together. Might as well just call it off.

I have to start doing CD reflection shit and then start studying. Man oh man. I still havent recover from the hectic weeks I had. Sad life huh?

I hate the fact that I wear glasses and I hate the way I look. =( Why do guys keep going for looks?

I spent my weekends at home, filled with youtube movies, dance videos, drama serials and of course, lots of sinful snacks. No wonder I feel fat now. Nevermind, there is Modern Dance later at 6pm. I can start exercising. Haha. =)

My plan of going shopping at Causeway Point during the weekends was being cancelled. Mainly due to my lazyness, and no one wants to accompany me. Maybe I'll go for a while before going for dance.

I finished the PACC tutorial. I'm planning to do Econs today, but my mind doesn't seem to function very well. Haha. Anyway, Econs is like a bullshit subject. I think it doesn't even have anything to do with my course.

Hopefully, that message will wake you up, and hopefully, you'll learn what is fantasy, and what is reality. Goodbye, B!

I had a nightmare yesterday. I'm still spooked by it. Sigh. =(