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Archives:
January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011

YUSNIZA, yussy, yus, iza .
18, 210691, Gemini
SP, Human Resource Management with Psychology
Modern Dancer, SDZ
Brown, Chocolates w/o nuts, White roses, Jellybeans, Marshmallows (:

Do TAG, love you! (:

I know I haven't been blogging for a while. Busy, either with extra dance practices or doing projects or project meetups ): But I love being busy. Cause I won't think so much and do stupid things. Nyehh. Especially since now, when I know how insignificant I am to you. To the extent that you told me to delete your number. Major Ouch. Fuck you!

It's already the 31st December. Last day of 2009. Time really does flies!

2009, a really bad year for me. My love life was freaking painful and complicated, and I realised how stupid and foolish I was. I've learnt a really painful lesson. And hopefully, it'll make me a stronger and wiser person.

2009, I got to know more about different people. My cliques started to change. I realised who are true, and who are just plain hypocrites. Bonding sessions, gossip sessions. I've learnt to treasure my friends, make more friends and expand my social circle. Like what Meiliang say, I need more guy friends. HAHA.

2009, Waves, APEC, School, Dance, Camps and many other things that were certainly memorable. Outings, and just plain silly jokes and endless camwhoring sessions (HAHA!). And a very lonely birthday too ):

2009, I should say, was filled with A LOT of ups and downs. A more bumpy roller coaster ride as compared to the other years. But 2009 made me stronger. Much stronger.

Thank you dear loved ones for making 2009 a memorable year for me. I love you all.

Am looking forward to 2010.

My 2010 resolution? Work hard for school, be a better dancer, be a more cheerful person, and take things slow and easy. And not fall in love easily. 2010 will be a more challenging year, with FYP and ITP coming up, and the last year in polytechnic as well as dancing (OMG, I can just cry when I think about giving up dance!). Soon, before I knew it, it'll be me writing down my 2010 reminiscences. And then graduation. Then work. And no more dance. OMG NO!

I'm growing up too fast. WAAAAY to fast.

Okay, enjoy your last day of 2009! While I'll be at home, catching up on my sleep, doing projects and trying to choreograph something. SIGH. As usual.

I really need coffee. Go to hell with my promises to you. Since you broke your promise. Nyehhh.

More work added on to my already many workload. SIGH.

Okay la, byebye.

It still hurts. Quite a lot actually. We are friends, Yus. I guess I need some time to get used to all this. And I'm still far far away from getting over it, no, over you. And it's been a year. How long more? I won't let this make me crumble and fall. Am going to fight till the end. Go yus! Because I know that there'll be a bunch of people behind me (:

Some little things that my friends do always make my day. Even their lame jokes. I love you guys. And I loved how we shouted till crazy when the Dream Team won the telematch. Really made my day. With the super comfy couch. Thanks makcik. Hope you enjoyed the cake (:

I'm still in my projects and dance phase. Sigh. Am going to take a break on New Year's eve. Looking forward to it, babe!

3 more lines to choreo, and many more reports to do. Project meeting at 10am, dance at 3pm. Kill me. I will need extra strong coffee tomorrow.

I combed through my wet hair, and a whole bunch of hair got stuck at my comb. Dammit. I'm balding. Got to stop eating instant noodles ):

Dance today rocked. (: Really sweat like siao. Good workout. And then after dance, EAT! LOL. I'm taking in more calories as compared to what I've burned.

Project discussion tomorrow. Never ending.

My choreo, HAIYO. -.-"

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Oh, I so love Christmas movies (:

Christmas Eve and Christmas day are spent doing reports alone at home. Sad or what. Yesterday, I spent one whole day doing my part for TND report, and only to realise that I did the wrong thing. NB. At that point of time, I almost wanted to throw my laptop across the room. Thank god the cold shower calmed me down. And yes, the Toblerones!

I'm done with my part for PNCM and halfway through for HRIS. TND, I can only start on Saturday, when everyone is together. UCCD, research and more research ):

It feels so fast. Only one week left before school starts. And yes, before 2009 is over.

Frankly speaking, 2009 is the worst year for me. Hmm, I shall reminisce on New Year's Eve. Eh no. New Year's Eve will be catching up with an old bestie! Haiya, see how.

Looking forward to 2010. (:

F-ing tired. 4 reports waiting for me, a whole 2.5 mins choreo waiting to be completed and taught, and my immune system is f-ing annoying.

I'm screwed.

It's no holiday for me. It's hell. Dammit!

Need to change my choreo a little. There's too much steps. And aiyah, it's really CANNOT MAKE IT.

I seriously think my hair is a disaster. HAIYAAAAAAAAAA!

It scares me when even my loved ones can harm me. Intentional or unintenional. Who else can I trust now? They always say, parents know what's best for you. Bullshit. I KNOW what's best for myself. Thank god the tummyache is gone.

My bag and Oxford shoes are still waiting for me. Shopping anyone? :P

Yesterday's training was hell. The choreo is not one of my favourite, and somehow, I always have trouble catching up. Mehhh. Brain not functioning properly already. Stayed on to watch Hiphop juniors assignment. And had long chats with the dancers during lunch. Oh yes, fries and apple pie with Cherie, Nadiah, Jieling (:

Upcoming week is packed as well. Except for Christmas Eve and Christmas. Bring me out, anyone? Okay no. I got to start on my research and do the choreo, mehhh.

I am having a disasterous hair week. Sigh. Flat fringe, messy mane, and the hairdresser chopped off my favourite feelers. How sad. I look like a bowl now ):

A trip to the hairdresser's today. An impulse decision, cause I got bored of doing research, and after browsing through my Facebook photos, I realised my hair is no longer hair, it's like a lion's mane. 4 whole hours of getting it done, yawn! Almost fell asleep. And seriously, male hairdressers seriously needs to speak up, cause only ants can hear them! Baaaah!

Dance tomorrow, a bit lazy want to wake up. Nyehhh.

My usual online kakis are not online. Merr ): So lonely. No one to disturb.

Okay, I'm freaking booooored! Shall watch youtube (:

And so, I confessed. The feeling sucked, but only lasted for a while. You cleared things up, and I'm glad you did. And somehow, it made me feel so much better. At least, I'm not on the hang right now. At least, I know our stand. It is embarassing, but hey, the end result is so much worth it. *Huge sigh of relief*

At least, now I know what I have to do. It's gonna suck, but that's how it should be.

But I know that I always endless support from my slengers. (:

I just watched Monster in Law, and I almost fell asleep (ohmygod!). Now to freshen up myself, then to start my research. HAIZZZ...

Internet connection is damn slow. Irritating shit. UGH. I think I'll just sleep after this la.

A bit in a bad mood today. Sigh. But it got me thinking. I know where the problem lies. Anything IS possible. It's just that whether I'm willing to do it. All this while, I'm unwilling to let go totally. Partially, yes, but not totally. People have been telling me to give up, or think twice. I know the consequences. I myself know what I'm getting myself into. I want to avoid it too, but part of me refuse to walk away. (P.S Thanks for the advice guys!)

I myself, don't know what to do, how to react.

I'm sorry for the mood people ):

Dance (at least part of it) made me a little better today. Seoul garden outing tomorrow (like finally after 12345678 million zilion years!), hopefully it will help to put my mind off things.

Okay la, the stupid connection is pissing me off. Goodnight!

It's funny how you don't realise that it's you that's hurting me. And yet, you still can ask, 'What happened?', like as though you really cared. Truth is, you don't. Right?

Ahh, a bad way to start the day. Looking to forward to filming later and be the butt of everyone's jokes. LOL. And I got my gummies with me. Today will be great, I think, I hope.

Okay, it's 11, and I have yet to bathe. And I'm supposed to go out early to get my shorts changed. Gyeeeaaaaahhhhh! So lazy.

KFC for lunch. Sigh, FATS. All thanks to Benjamin ehhh! TSK.

It's not fucking possible Yus. It'll never be. So get that in your head. And accept reality.

Fuck, it's not supposed to be a poem. But how come it sounds like one?

I got to be strong. I have to be strong. I want to be strong.

Trust me when I say, that I'll be okay. Go on boy, go on boy. Go on boy.

Fuck, damn it. It's not okay.

Screw you!

I don't know why, she is bothered by my presence in your life. Well, I think she is. Seems like she's not over you yet. I don't want to fight over this matter, especially over you. I'm willing to give you up, even if it means hurting myself. Because I know that we are not possible. (Well, no reason why, but when they say trust your intuition, my intuition tells me so.)

At times like this, when I gained weight and all, dance is the only solution to make me happy. Thank god for session tomorrow (:

GEMS project meeting was a breeze. Another one more meetup, and I guess we're done. Doing a video again (starring moi!) about a girl who got depressed over a divorce and then get fat, and then have a heart attack. Did the breakup scene today. Doing most of the scene tomorrow, I guess. Sigh, going to make a fool of myself in front of Benjamin. Baaaaah.

Gyeah, another project meeting tomorrow, and then dance session. Thurs, another meeting. Monday, another meeting. Am free on Friday. Shopping anyone? :P Okay la, I'm officially broke today ): Have yet to get my bag and sandals, and many many tops ):

Just now, (or rather, yesterday!) was bitter sweet. Nevertheless, it's worth keeping it as a happy memory. It's not going to last, but at least, it's something. Thanks for everything, boy. I know I can't have you, but I still love you.

New blogskin, took 2 days to find it. Found a nicer one, but it's a total screw up upon publishing. So it's going to remain till something gets cock up, cause I'm not the type who changes skin since I'm very very lazy. Oh yes, anyone whose links are not found here, do tag, thanks! Love you!

Okay, am having gastric right now and it's been ages since I had one. Project meetup at 1pm tomorrow (Shouts: OMG! Isn't this supposed to be a freaking holiday??). I want to go shopping real bad.

Okay la. I need my sleep. Goodnight.

OSchool recital is dope (:

I'm still having sore muscles and my back still hurts. But I can't wait to dance again on Wednesday (: Hopefully, it'll be as fun as Saturday's session.

Watching New Moon later, yay. I get to see Jacob's hot body, woo! Okay, I have yet to bathe. HAHA.

Okay, I know my skin is ugly. I'll change it after movie.

(:

Today's free and easy session was hell lots of fun! Did some fast turns techniques and ended up being giddy and anyhow-ing and ended up on the floor laughing. Did Ryan's Almost Midnight, and last year's Cry. And Glady's Mad! (: Fun session. Wheeee! KFC for lunch, had heart to heart talks for 2 hours, and then dance again. Ended up leaving school at 5plus. HAHA. Yay, love yall!

OSchool Recital tomorrow, excited! (:

Yesterday's shopping with my sister was great, and very productive, even though I got criticised for the things that I think looks nice. Grr. Spent like $100, and I haven't get the things that I really need to get. Nice time spent gossiping on train and searching for cup noodles, heheh! Love you laaaaaa.

My hair is in a terrible condition. I just trimmed it myself just now because I'm too lazy to go to the salon. HAHA.

Okay, I know I need to chnage my blogskin. Haiya. So marfun!

Halfway there. Soon, Phase One of endless shit will be over. Still have Phase Two (5 projects over the 3 weeks break) and Three (CA2 and presentations next year) and Four (final papers). Before end of Year 2.

Nyehh, I don't want Year 2 to end. ): I'm growing up too fast. Boo!

Ok, I promised myself, no emo shitting today.

The three papers so far were damn bloody nonsense. So much for aiming for B+. I'll be thankful if I get a C+!

I don't feel like starting FM. I want to nap, SIGH. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeepy! FM is going to be a killer, I swear. HAIYA. Let's just screw this semester up.

Ok la. Goodnight. Coffee effect that I had before paper earlier on is fading.

Anyway, Waffles and Eggs (KFC Breakfast meal) made my day, whee! At days and times like this, only sinful and jolly good food can make me happy. Give me chocolates and gummies every day, and I'll be smiling away. Whee! Heh.

Ok, I'm like self high, when I still have 2 more papers left. Must be the maple syrup. Too sweet.

Okay la, I want nap. Goodnight (:

It's obvious that she doesn't want to leave you. I just don't want to be the substitute anymore. Not for the second time.

Just tell me to leave, please.

Cause if you still don't, my heart will still remain to stick with you.

Oh, shit, help.

No wonder I'm so moody and grumpy. And eating a lot. PMS, sigh.

F TND paper! F my carelessness! F the 4 gone marks! Ugh, dammit. I studied that part, sheesh! UGH!

Next paper, Psychology, the common sense one. F, I don't have any common sense.

I'm sorry for the vulgar. F!

Tell me now, straight in my face, that we are over, boy.

Like pretty please?

Because she's still in love with you, and you're still in love with her.

Tell me, we are just nothing. Okay?

Sigh.

A quickie.

My beloved damn chio template failed on me because I guess the creator didn't activate her photobucket account or something, sigh. Shall wait till MST is over, and then I'll do up my template again. For now, bear the current template (although I think it's not that bad, but yeah, still too common).

This week is going to be one hell of a nightmare. Wish me luck. Ugh.

Saturday, Sunday, and then Monday (: Ooooh, can't wait!

Somehow, things are different now. Things are better as compared to last time. I don't know, maybe it's just the start. One thing that I do know, for sure, we are not sincere. And the little voice inside me tells me that, we are going to get nowhere. Call me pessimistic, but I don't want it to be that way either.

Oh, I should just ignore this freaking shit and get on with my revision. F the MSTs. F the 5 projects.

But still, I just can't help but to think that, it's really a re-enactment of the past. Exams (or MST? But whatever!), holiday period, jacket (only that I didn't take it home this time round!), T15, and at this time of the year too! Oh the bitter sweet memories.

Okay, study hard (:

At times like this, my "dream team" monsters are the one that keeps me going. Thanks girls (:

Every little detail that comes from you, I will analyse. But the more analysis I do, the more confusing it gets. I just can't figure you out, boy.

I think it's just me, thinking too much and making assumptions. I wish you would stop being nice to me and taking the initiative. But at the same time, I wish things will remain the way it is now.

I don't want to love you anymore, boy.

I'm F-ing confused now.

Must be FM that's making me mad now. HAIYA.

It feels like I'm watching a re-enactment of how we first met. Bitter sweet. Deep inside, I wished you're a changed man. Thank you for the jacket, anyway. Am waiting for the M&Ms.

My brain is failing on me. I think I'm too over-ambitious to manage 3 modules in a day. Gaaah.

Can't wait for the holidays. Especially the 13th and 14th (:

Wenda Leong just called me "MUS" instead of Yus *&^%$#^&*^&*!

Do I look like a freaking guy to you, Wenda?

Thanks ah! Sheesh.

F. Why am I so over sentitive?

Last night, the feeling was similar to when we first met and got to know each other. Magical, but at the same time, it's the beginning of a nightmare.

Be strong.