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YUSNIZA, yussy, yus, iza .
18, 210691, Gemini
SP, Human Resource Management with Psychology
Modern Dancer, SDZ
Brown, Chocolates w/o nuts, White roses, Jellybeans, Marshmallows (:

Do TAG, love you! (:

Ahh ouch! Sometimes, truth hurts. And I'm putting on a brave front. But I seem to realise that I'm not very good at it. I just have to live with it then. Sigh. This really sucks. And what's up with guys who cannot get over their ex? Ugh.

On the brighter side, 2 down, 3 more to go! Whee!

I keep falling asleep whilst studying. Gaaaah!

Okay, back to studying. While TV-ing. Ehem ehem. Heh. (:

I'm just mad at myself for being stupid and thinking too much. Ugh. Too bad, I don't inherit the smart-ass gene. It doesn't run in the family. It's all based on hard work.

Such a lovely weather to sleep in. No, screwing up one paper is enough. This, I got to score.

And no more. No more being Little Miss Initiative. Why does it always have to be me? I'm sick and tired of keeping things together, and not getting any credit for it.

And I have got to stop worrying and taking care of other people and start taking care of myself instead. Sometimes, in life, you just have got to be selfish and firm. Or people'll start stepping on your head and act like as if you owe them.

And its back to normal. Just the way I want it to be. Aww...

Being hard-to-get works! (:

Cause you're hot and then, you're cold. Yesterday you were perfectly fine, but today, you just suck. And I thought it's over? So why do you still keep giving me the same impression? And not making it clear to me about what you want out of this whole thing? Why is it that when I gave you some face at times, but you took advantage of it, again? And why the hell is this stupid cycle going on AGAIN? 6 months is enough, really. Someone please tell me why is this going on again, and how do I stop it? Ugh.

I thought I vowed not to get involve with him ever again. Or even if I do, he must be a changed man. So why is this happening YUS?! I deserve to be whacked at the butt, tsk!

Anyhos, tomorrow is the start of the dreaded term, sheesh! On the bright side, I get to see my OhFour babes and the Senjas soon. Yayness! But for now, got to face the shits for MST. I don't know why I bothered to study so hard, when in the end, I don't get the results that I want. Sheesh. Cause it's part and parcel of life. When life wants to be shit, you got to live with it.

It's 5.30pm, and I have yet to start going through my tutorials. Yikes!

But for now, I think I deserve a chocolate snack first. Heh. No wonder I'm getting fat. Must be all these rewards I've been giving myself for studying hard ):

Okay, I want to play Facebook, heh :)

I know I'm supposed to be studying, but I spent the afternoon with my mom instead. Heh, shopping, what else (: I think I spent like $70, $50 from mom, $20 out of my own pocket. Even though we are like generations apart, and have different taste, I did enjoy myself. Okay, part of me feels guilty when she volunteered to pay since she's not working anymore. But, she's like willingly asking me, 'You want? You take lor.' So it's not my fault right? HAHA.

I'm totally in love with cheesecake! Bought Sara Lee's cheesecake, and whoa, I could easily finish up the whole thing! I want to try Oreo cheesecake from MacCafe next time!

Mrs Loh called my house just now and asked for Yus. I went like,''Which Yus?" HAHA. FYI, there are 4 Yus in my family! (:

Okay okay, back to studying. Sheesh!

I think the sun just killed half my brain cells. Scorching hot! And I made stupid decision (twice!) to walk to 888 and back. Whole journey to and fro took me an hour. HAHA. No, I don't walk slooooow okay! It's the distance from my house to there! Took it as a form of exercise, heh.

For the sake of good service and rather cheap hairdresser (: I spotted many people with bangs lately. It's so IN! Haha. The people there can definitely be trusted to cut bangs. Unlike those auntie ones who cut your hair too short and make you look like a kuku, and then say "Oh, nevermind. You don't like, hair will grow one." Stupid. Ugh bad experiences.

Now, back to the 5 modules. *screams* NIGHTMARE!

I'm hungry!

And facebook is being such a bitch lately. I was playing my spot the difference, and then it hanged there! Tsk, I complete one round already leh! I refreshed the page, and still hang. Haiyak!

Ok, I go find food now.

*scurries away to the kitchen*

My house just got invaded by the crazy Senjas, for a belated birthday celebration. Aww, love you guys deep deep. Even deeper than my arsehole (in Jieling's tone).

I swear I thought Nadiah need to borrow the blender from me lor. I'm like in my jersey, basketball shorts, hair pulled back and spectacles. And not bathed yet! Sheesh. Think you guys can smell me from 100metres away! Sorry! And my house was like in a wreck, with my papers everywhere, and my room was like a pig's sty. Aiyo... Really bad impression sia. :/

But nevertheless, had a ball of a time. Laughing non-stop will tummyache. Lots of sinful sinful food (okay, start dieting tomorrow!). We should do this more often, and invade people's house! Or even sleepover! (:

Thanks guys! I love you all! Muax muax hugs!

And special thanks to Nadiah, who planned all this (I think!) and the Little Black Book! (: And the birthday wishes from all SDZ-ians! Love you! 10 years of friendship and still counting!

And the rest who came all the way from Hougang/Jurong/CCK just to celebrate it with me. Awwww, I'm so touched!

Nothing else seem to matter anymore, since I have you guys to take all my emo-ness away (:

And I have yet to finish memorising Blaw! Sheesh! HAHA. That can wait! (:

Thank you Senjas. You guys rock! Am going to do something special for the Senjas this waves (:

PMT just killed half my brain cells. And just by looking at my Blaw notes makes me want to puke my breakfast out (which is mee goreng by the way!) Eeeeeeeee, AKU DEPRESS BODOH!

I want to go to my hairdresser tomorrow. And tame my mane. HAHA. So irritating lah! Fly here, fly there. Money? Use NETS lor. HAHA. Sheesh! Tsk!

High Court, Low Court, Middle Court, so irritating! Okay, there's no such terms as low or middle court. But I just feel like putting it down, cause it sounds nice.

Okay, I think I'm a bit self-high. HAIYAK! *flying kicks* And the Blaw notes lands at Tampines. Haha, *shouts* KIWIIIIIIIIIIIIII! HELP ME TAKE BACK TO WOODLANDS!

Oh yeah, KIWI, be strong babe! Let's find new eye-candies kay! Muax muax hugs! (:

I want to eat Pok-coooorn! *Jasmine's laguage*

Today is Wednesday. It's been a week since I last saw you. SADDED!

Random: Do you know that I've been stepping on the weighing scale everytime I snack or after I finish my meal? HAHA. Weight-OCD huh. And I think I'm very itchy, I'm trying to straighten my curls a bit by tying up in a bun everyday. Siao-zhar-bo.

Okay la okay laaaaaa. I go study laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! TSK!

This week is a bore. It's basically, staying at home, stoning in front of the notes and spending 2 freaking hours memorising just one topic. Sheesh. At this rate, I'm going to flunk man!

And I can still find time to go youtube and self-entertain, and update blog. Haha, good or what?

Deleted my previous post, because it's totally pointless. Heh.

I need to go to the hairdresser soon. My hair is getting wild now. Hair sticking out everywhere. Tsk. Probably on thursday, only if I finish memorising all 5 modules. But, I got no moooooney! And I'm running out of hair solutions. Tsk.

It's only been a week, and things are like getting back to normal. Sheesh, I'm starting to love and hate this process at the same time. Ok, contradicting. But I got to remain to hide my weaknesses, and act like as if I don't care. Okay, I DON'T CARE! :)

I think I'm going crazy due to boredom. WOOOOOOOOOOO! Must be Jiahui's influence, tsk!

Blaw, Pmt, Cbm, Pec, Hrprs, I'm going bonkers, BODOH! Thank god there's no Maths modules this semester.

I miss dancing. It's been 72 hours since I last dance. I want to daaaaaaaaaance! And see the Senjas! I still have to wait for another 24x11(hrs) more to dance and see my Senjas. Whoa! So loooooooong!

And and, he's going away in 2 weeks time. Which means, when dance resume, he'll be gone. How sad! TSK! No more chance of seeing him. Arrgh! :(

Ok la ok la, I go study now OKAY! Happy? Tssssssssssssk!

Eh youtube for a while can? *sneaks and open a new tab, and click the youtube link*

Oh, check out Vougelicious. I think they rock. And I roll (:

Okay, whatever.

GO AND STUDY LA YUS! FAIL THEN YOU KNOOOOW! TSK!

Today was like, wow, crazy! Joined the juniors for training. Basically, it's all about stretchings. And uhh, I joined in the stretchings against the mirror, which was a torture. Then had the senior's training, which went by quite fast. And then did cherie/char's choreo, which made me have bruises again! Ugh. But, no pain, no gain. Was dead by 3.30pm. And I'm practically crawling out of MPH.

Lunch at Banquet. Wrong choice of food. Bleargh.

Nap for an hour, before they on the lights, disturbing my sleep. Now, I got a bloody headache, and swollen eyes. Tsk.

And I'm certainly not motivated to study at all! So tired.

The whole process took me 3 tearful nights. And many subsequent moody days. Am glad that things are better now. But at times, it just suck, ya know? But I'm not giving up. No way. I'm halfway through. Might as well just finish this strong! I can do this! (:

WALAO! I'M SO LAZY TO STUDY LAR! KNS! SHEESH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, I'm going mad.

Thank you for the personalised shoe. It may not be as pretty as those at the shops. But I really appreciate it lots though, the time and effort you put in. And the hidden messages under the shoes, the memorable jokes and teasers we shared. Even though the meetup was rather cold and awkward, I think it's better that way, to make things easy for me.

After that was totally emotional. All the memories running through my mind. But I managed to hide it. Well, at least, I think so.

It's the 4th night today. Without you. And I'm still not used to it. My inbox (text messages) is so lonely without the dirty talks. Sucks, big time.

On a lighter note, I'm finally starting to study. And... umm, yeah, that's all. I'm trying to find some fun things to blog about, but I can't think of any. Pardon me for my gloomy posts. Because I'm just blogging about what's going on in my life right now.

So, if I'm spoiling your mood or pissing you off when you guys are reading this, I sincerely apologise. For it's not entirely my fault for the shits I have to go through right now. For this is the only way I can totally let out everything that I feel, since I'm not good at sharing everything with people.

Many thanks to those who have been by my side, who actually cared about what's going on in my life. I'm glad to be surrounded with you guys, and knowing how it feels like to be cared for, since I'm born in a culture that doesn't really shows concern openly towards each other.

Thank you :)

I really did not expect a mini celebration from you girls. I really thought we're just going to meet up for lunch. HAHA. And I really thought you girls were late. I almost wanted to wait for you guys at MRT control station lor.

Thanks for the cake, the green book, the HUGEEEE bear, and of course, the company today. I almost cried when you girls surprised me with the mini cake and the song. And I was already tearing when making a wish. Heh, I managed to keep my tear in :)

Because at a time like this, I know you guys will be there for me. Thank you. And the wish was not necessary at all. Because I already got what I wanted, the people around me, the Senjas and OhFours <3 My wish had came true a long time ago.

OMO. I'm tearing. TSK.

Thank you OhFour for the presents. I love you guys to bits.

I hate night-time because I will get all emotional and cry to sleep, and then wake up in the morning with swollen eyes. This sucks. Especially at a time like this.

UGH!

Whatever I am going through now, I want to capture it in a dance. Song chosen, just choreo. I want to make it special and personal (:

Thank you Senjas, Moosh and Jiayan for making today a crazy one. I really need it.

Dance Subaru rocks.

...and you're making things hard for me. Tsk...

5 more days to legal (:

And so it's over.

Yeah, that fast. It was not easy. But at least I did it. All I need now is lots of courage to move on. And perhaps a good cry. And of course, a swollen eye to deal with in the morning.

I don't feel like coming out with the Senjas tomorrow. I'm scared I will just breakdown and cry in front of them. I hate to let people see that I'm weak. ):

My heart still want to be with you. But I know I can't have you. So goodbye.

):

Things are fine now, after the trash talking. Everything is back to normal.

But I find myself more harsh now. And firm. Just like what Senja partner told me to be. And it's working. Feelings are starting to fade, little by little. How am I feeling now? Truthfully, nothing. Not happy, but not sad either. Just, empty.

Just hope that this works (:

GO yus!

On a lighter note, CBM sucks. It's alien language. Ugh. The textbook doesn't help either. And I've wasted my weekends just like that. Sheesh.

2 more weeks to nightmare, 1 more week to legal :)

And how come no one send me any PEC report to compile ah? WALAO. And what's the progess of PMT? Is the compilation done? Wait, does anyone care at all? How come no one is taking the initiative to get things done? I'm tired of making sure everything's fine. Really. Cause it's not fair. Ugh.

And why does everyone think I have scandals? I don't okay! Doesn't mean I have SMS conversation with guy friends means I'm being scandalous. Get over it man!

And you LOSER, GET A LIFE! (:

Having the Senjas and OhFour by my side all the time rocks. Really.

I woke up in the morning feeling all grouchy and moody from last night's incident. The starting of the audition was just plain stoning, and thinking a lot, and making me tear a bit. Things got better when Cherie/Char started doing their choreo (except the bruises part, blueblack on knee and WRIST?!)

Had chatting session till 5plus. HAHA. Coolio! Love them to bits <333

Feel so much better now, thanks :)

And things are starting to fade. Thank god.

I've been thinking.

Should I just let go?

I want to announce to the world universe that I finished editing CBM report, including the appendix and cover page. *applause* God know if we're in the right track. But at least, there's one less thing to worry about now. Yay (:

I'm still worried about the MST papers though. Am going to start intensive studying tomorrow after PEC's discussion. (:

Session today was fun. Yay. And had heart-to-heart talk with my SenjaM. Yeah, I got to learn to be firm and hard. Thanks darling. And all those who showed concern. Thanks. <33333 I can't wait for the next go-sip session. OOoooo

And it's only a matter of time before my fats starting showing :(

I just hate it when you go MIA. And then, giving me all the nonsense excuses. And then make up for it by attacking my weakness point. And make me forget about everything. Yes, I know your dirty little game. You want to play? Fine, bring it on.

CBM project, god knows what we are doing. Just hope that Jacqueline will reply soon.

PMT project, today. I mean, later. I have no idea how to survive.

PEC project on Friday.

Ugh, busy busy. And I miss dance.

Where are you when I needed you the most? Sigh.

It scares me, seeing a lot of lovely relationships coming to end. Maybe, what people say is true. Nothing lasts forever.

I must be crazy. I'm coughing like a mad dog, and here I munching on Yupi's Strawberry Kisses.

Things are getting somewhere. I don't know if I should be happy or not. What if history repeat itself? That, I know I can't take it. I just got to be strong, and not be foolish anymore. But sometimes, it feels good to be foolish. Aiya.

I want to come dance and meet all my crazy people again. I need some cheering up. ): And I miss my Senjas!

It sucks to be treated like dirt, just because we are performers. Just because we were performing for free. The only good thing is that, the stage was huge. No point ranting, because what's done is done.

Every muscle is aching. Blue black on the knee from Ryan's choreo, bruises on weird places like the shoulders and wrists and arms from exam piece choreo, floor burns from That's the way it is choreo. Oh wow. Can't get any 'better'.

Grumpy grumpy mood.

Wish you were here ):

It's Friday. Last day of school for the term. Which marks the start of the busy-ness. 3 projects due right after MST and 5 freaking papers to study for. Nice. To be completed within 3 weeks seems impossible. Especially with the dance exam coming up as well. Only God knows how I can manage.

2 hour nap seems enough, for now.

And next week will be packed with group discussions for all three projects. Decided to stay the way it is. Cause I don't want any grudges and conflicts. Just got to live with it. Perhaps, knock some sense into them when time is ripe. Really, my patience is wearing thin now.

Vanne and Kiwi's name are on the Honours' Roll. WooWowWhee! Proud of you girls (: I share the joy yo! So motivated to get started studying. (: Must teach the KUKUhead here okay?

Tomorrow will be a long long day. Plus, without my Senja partner. How sad. ):

Yesterday's journey home was great. Thank you. And thank you for entering my life (: And the shoulder.

Okay, this blog is damn dead. Been busy with god-knows-what. HAHA. Seriously, my MST is after the holidays and my projects are due after the holidays. Basically, I'm supposed to be free now until my holidays. And I don't know what I'm busy with now. HAHA.

Yesterday was nice. Really nice. Dance made my day. A whole lot. And the journey home rocked. Thank you (:

And today is a total crap. From the minute I woke up ):

Performance on Saturday. Ugh ):

I hate to be moody, cause I tend to think a lot.

Something happen during camp. Which it should not happen. At all. I don't know what had gotten over me. Perhaps it's body over mind, making me do things I'm not supposed to do. And now, I lost a friend. A friend that I fear to lose the most. Cause he's been my pillar of strength, indirectly.

If you're reading this, I'm sorry.

And I just don't know what to do with you. Cause I don't know what you want, what to expect from you, what you believe in, and what you want me to do. And miracle, it's been almost half a year. And yet, nothing.

20 more days to legal 18. I just realised that when the girls told me. I don't care anyway. I just want to be happy.

But I don't know what makes me happy.

Somebody, help?

Am shagged. Give me one whole day to sleep, and I'll be a happy happy goober.

And I have to finish my Reflection Journal by today. Hopefully after my nap.

And yeah, true. People change when they have power. Cocky. Cheer up girl (: You have me.

I want the break to start now. Why is there no school closure this week? So retarded. TSK.

Am a grumpy grumpy kukuhead today, TSK.

):