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YUSNIZA, yussy, yus, iza .
18, 210691, Gemini
SP, Human Resource Management with Psychology
Modern Dancer, SDZ
Brown, Chocolates w/o nuts, White roses, Jellybeans, Marshmallows (:

Do TAG, love you! (:

Today is Monday. Tomorrow is Tuesday. Tuesday, 11.11am, marks freedom. Oh, so can't wait!

Am more or less prepared for tomorrow's paper. Just need to keep re-reading the notes, and maybe source for more exam papers. Or maybe go through the tutorials. YUSSY FIGHTING!

Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Both the good and the bad.

And the gastric problem seems to be better now, yay! (:

OKAY, shall source for exam papers now.

FIGHTING!

Okay. Great. Flu at this time. Not to mention a splitting headache. When I thought that everything is going on fine. Ah chincah!

Two more chapters to cover by today. And there is the MJ concert tonight. Haiya. All wrong timing.

Ahh okay, bye.

I have to draw the line. I fell countless times, but I'm slowly picking myself up. At least, it's going somewhere. Let the process be slow, but proper. Maybe being friend is enough. I'm sure I have the strength to carry on. Even though memories do stick. Yussy FIGHTING!

When I thought CBM was bad enough, PMT was even freaking worse! BABI! Trying to kill us is it? And it does not help that I got only 4 hours of sleep the night before. I almost dozed off. Tsk. One more, Blaw, the freaking killer paper which just doesn't make sense at all. I freaking salute all the lawyers out there. *salutes*

Okay, I'm supposed to study Blaw right now. Came online to check the law terms in dictionary.com, but got distracted by this. Haiyo! Last paper, I don't seem to have the motivation to study. TSK. Bad arrangement, they should put Blaw first. AH CINCAHHH!

Kinder Bueno rocks as well. But nothing beats Twix though (:

Oh I so can't wait for Tuesday! Movie marathon plus dinner (break fast outside. the availability of seats seems to worry me :() with OhFour! WHEEEEEEEEEEE! And yes, Thursday's session! I so need some exercise (okay, even though I'm fasting). As for Wednesday, am going to stay home to catch up on my sleep and watch WGM all the waaaaaaaaay! (Okay, I had it all planned out. But the last paper is still not over yet. TSK. I think too far ahead.)

The breeze this morning was ultra cool. I want more of such breeze! (:

Okay, I talk too much. Time to shut up and study!

YUSSY FIGHTING!

I'm trying my best to turn over a new leaf. And be a saint. FIGHTING!

PMT, so far so good. FIGHTING!

Yussy, FIGHTING!

Praying helps to clear my mind, especially at a time like this.

Please give me the strength to face the challenges in my life. Amin.

Back to PMT. And singing. Heh.

Don't blame me if it rains tonight.

You know the numb feeling you'll get, when you're supposed to be elated, and over the moon? That is how I feel now. As much as I want and try to be happy and excited, I don't feel anything.

Maybe it's due to the past, maybe it's due to the phobia, maybe it's due to the tiredness of the same cycle over and over again.

All I can say is, I'm sorry. For being so stone.

Stop being nice to me. I feel bad. (P.S I know you read my blog. Stalker!)

Anyhos, nightmare begins tomorrow. I'm more or less prepared for CBM (just need a little recap). All I'm worrying now is whetehr I have enough time for PMT and Blaw. Cause this whole week, I've spent it on CBM. Really, if I don't get at least a B for CBM, I'll cry.

I really miss dancing. 2 more weeks before I can dance again.

I'm dreading Raya ):

I tried. But failed. Ahh cincah!

Somehow, I feel this whole thing is going the wrong way. I should stop it before it's too late.

I'm losing interest in almost everything. HAIYA.

I hate afternoons. Makes me sooo sleepy! ):

ahhh! I forgot to add this on!

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY NADIAH SLENGER BACIN!
9 years and still counting!

Ahh, am feeling much better. Thanks (:

Let it be a lesson learnt. It's the past. I should not look back (even though some things still lingers)

Fasting tomorrow yay! I want to shed 5kg again!(haha, like real eh yus!)

Ahh, CBM is killing me! I shall never specialise in CBM when I enter HR!

Ahh, cincah!

Am sick again. It's like I'm getting flu every week. Ahh, sad.

My brain is going to burst ):

But it's okay, I have another packet of Twix left. Can depend ont that to survive. (:

Goodnight! AND Selamat Berpuase! (:

For the past two months, whatever my friends have been telling me about you, I refuse to listen. Because I thought that you are not that kind of guy. Just a minute ago, I found out that you are.

It was just two weeks ago before you starting contacting me, psycho-ing me just like right from the start. I thought you've accept reality? And then now, you're with her back again.

WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR? A BLOODY FOOL? A BLOODY SUBSTITUTION WITH NO FEELINGS?

FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU!

You broke my heart for 4 times. Within 8 months. Congratulations. *throws confetti* Should I throw a bloody party for you then?

I'm sorry. I'm not the type of girl who swears. But this time, it's the last straw.

Go ahead then. Go live in your virtual world and take drugs then. I'm not going to care.

Totally spoil my studying mood. Fuck.

Ahh, chincah!

CBM is killing me. 4 chapters (memorised) down, 7 more to go. Oh great!

PMT, not touched at all :/

Blaw, understood, but not memorised.

Time check, 6 days left.

Yussy, you are SCREWED man!

Need to burn midnight oil. Prepare strong black coffee (even though I'm going against your advice. But who cares? You don't care anymore ):) and songs which I don't know the lyrics to(especially Korean songs by Alex Alsun! <333).

Ahh chincah!

And I need an icy cold bath to wake myself up.

GO YUS!

OMOOMOOMOOMOOMOOMOOMO!

Quoted from WGM, "Idol fighting!" HAHA!

Hotmail bodoh la! So screw up. Sheesh!

^.^

CBM is KILLING MEEEEE!

Nothing makes sense. I memorise for the sake of memorising. WHatever I memorise don't make sense at all.

BODOH LA.

SHEESH.

AJA FIGHTING!

Skipped dance today because I felt like I was going to faint soon. HAHA.

Met up with the girls to study at RP. Surprisingly, I managed to concentrate. At a slow pace. HAHA. 4 hours, I only did notes for 2 chapters of Blaw. AH SHIT. Kiwi counted all my 8 bad lucks (actually have more) because I thought Vanne's birthday is the 8th. LOL. Damn suey, all my pens ran out of ink except one. And according to Kiwi, there's no rubbish bin all the way from RP to Woodlands interchange. She got so excited when she found one at the MRT. HAHA. Kuku-woman.

Somehow, crying helps. I feel so much better now (: And of course, with all the friends who cares around me and helping to pull me up once again. Love you guys.

I don't know why, I've been eating only 2 times a day lately. Must be due to Vanne's influence. Today, I ate fried rice at 9am. And I'm only planning to eat dinner at 7plus. But sadly, no weight loss. HAIYA.

Really. Just now, it's proven. Bloody obvious, you love her more than me. I'm not being jealous. Just that, I tend to remember such things. And I still don't know why I'm working my ass off just to impress you and make you happy. What's the use? You already have someone to rely on, someone to love more. And it seems that she has the career which you like. You don't even care, do you?

I'm doing whatever I'm doing now, for my own sake, my own future. Not to impress and show off to people. Which is why I don't communicate. What's the use?

Okay, SHIT. I told myself not have any emo post. -.-"

Ahhh! One hour of WGM, then nightmare starts again.

Fighting!

*haiyak*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Why must everything come at one go? It's too much for me to handle. Really.

Thanks babes for the concern. I love you guys.

I've got to stay strong.

I know I can.

I have to stand on my own feet again.

But can I?

Can I don't dance tomorrow?

Sigh. YUS IS DAMN SUEY.

Ahh blogger's template is so ugly! ):

I swear, I think I'm jinxed or something.

Yesterday, we wanted to print the Blaw report. Me and Farrina went to t15, since SB is full. Turned out that we, no, I saved the wrong file into Kiwi's thumbdrive. So we went to print the cover page and part of the report.

We went back to SB to resave the file, and then went to t15 again.

Along the way, I realised that there were spelling errors in the cover page. Farrina was like crumpling the paper and threw it in the drain, when I realised that I don't have the cover page in my thumbdrive. She had to go climb into the drain to retrieve the torn paper. LOL. Then, everything was okay, UNTIL, I realised that I forgot to bring my wallet to pay. -.-"

I had to meet Kiwi halfway from t15 to SB to get money. Just to pay 40cents. Macam bodoh lor!

That was yesterday.

Today, we had to print RWPS report. T15's printer was down. So we had to go to Fc3. There was a long queue. During our turn, the bloody computer hanged like so long lor! Gaaah! I swear, there were like 10plus people behind us ): So paiseh la. I don't even dare look at the people.

So that concludes my story. I'm jinxed. Next time you want to print stuff, don't call me to tag along, thanks.

Now, I know how to feels like to be in your position. And so far, nothing I did is effective. Sucks. And it's like I'm falling deeper. What hurts me the most, you don't even bother to make things better.

Ah, goodbye.

I don't know. I just feel, wrong. I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I just can't help it. I don't know what to do anymore.

I keep depending on you. To forget about you.

Strange.

Ok, this post is pointless

Disappointments after disappointments. So what's next?

Guys are the most cunning, yet amazing creatures in this planet.

I'm running after time.

This week: Blaw report, RWPS report, RWPS presenatation, GEMS presentation, Counseling CA practical. Wow. Shit.

Next week: Holiday break with lessons.

Next next week: EXAMS.

Bodoh. Stupid.

When was the last time I had a proper family outing, with all the family members present? I miss family outings very much. I hate grown-ups. I don't want to grow up. I don't want to face all the shits in the world.

I miss my friends as well. It seems like I've lost a lot of people as I get older. What's the use of meeting new people and having new friends when you'll end up losing the old ones?

I hate this kind of cycle. I hate this kind of life.

I just feel like shutting myself from this world.

Those who are irratated with my emo posts, well, fuck off. Cause really, it's my blog. I have my own freedom of speech. I can write whatever I want, thank you very much.

I need food to cheer me up. Especially Twix. Oh, even the thought of Twix hurts ):

I'm sorry for not being myself today. I'm sorry for being so quiet, and not in the mood to do anything.

Life is a bitch right now. Things at home are getting more complicated. And with school and dance to cope with. And also, the same cycle is beginning to repeat itself.

Thank god I didn't break down just now. Almost did when watching Bin and Pearl's showcase.

I want to forget about you, but yet I want you in my life. Oh, why must it be so hard? What is wrong with me?

Ahh, forgive me for this emo post.

To those who care, thank you very much (: Really appreciate it.

Hi. Hello. School life is being such a bitch. My reports are never ending. And even if I finished a report, I have to re-do the whole thing again. OMFGXZ!

Reports are just damn bodoh la. Especially Blaw. The module is already a killer, yet you want us to go through 30 pages of letters to answer the question. GAH!

My eyes are damn swollen, due to insufficient sleep and rest. Sigh.

Okay, I should just go on doing my reports like nobody's business okay? SHEESH.

Life is sad. Life is sad, indeed.

Session today was daaaaammmmnnnnn SYOIK! It's been a long time since I had such session, tiring yet enjoyable. Bin really knows how to push us to our limits. Looking forward to muscleaches tomorrow. Whoa, BEST! Okay, I think people will think that I'm mad. But, I don't know, the pain and tiredness from dance makes me happy (: Perhaps, it's my attitude towards dance now. I shall take dance more seriously now.

Blaw discussion totally killed me la. I need to start revising Blaw real soon. No way, I'm not going to allow it to pull my GPA down. Got to study study study.

Flu again today. Due to insufficient sleep and rest. Haiya. My immune system is totally weak man.

Okay, I shall have an early night now. Goodnight loves.

I took 20mins to chew my dinner down just now. And it's porridge. Ahh, I hate it when I can't take solid food. I'm so sick of porridge and whipped potato already. Really, if I have the money, I would have gone for a bloody jab. And my calves are still hurting like mad.

Me, Vanne and FruitBar had a heart-to-heart talk just now after the video recording. At the stadium. While enjoying the breeze. So romantic. Haha. Topics like marriage, our parents, the past, it all surfaced. And I thought only my family have some complications. Turned out that I'm not alone (: It was nice, the company. Thanks girls! <3

My sister says my body is like a man, because my shoulders are damn broad. I am very very sad. Sigh ):

And somehow, my nights are filled with tears again. Oh, the agony. I hate it when the past and all the negative things dominate my thoughts. Sometimes, I feel like I have split personality. I can get so high and hyper in the day with my girls. At nightime, I start to emo again.

The past sucks. Sometimes I wish I have amnesia and I can forget the unhappy past. Someone knock my head against the wall or something?

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

There is an incident which made me feel so stupid today. Let's call it, 'The $10 makcik.' Those who wants to know, ask me personally. And those who know, shut up hor! Not funny lor! Sheesh!

I need a bar of Twix, BADLY! Sigh.

*yaaaaaaaaaaaakdush!*

Somehow, today, dance cheered me up. The stretchings was hell (note to self: Don't partner Charlotte. She'll touture you like nobody's business. But somehow, it feels good.). Techniques was tiring. My legs were already wobbling when we did choreo. And today, my chainaes and pirouttes suck ): But yeap, enjoyed dance today.

Cup noodles for lunch (again!). And a pack of Maltesers and Blueberry Tea. (: Company was great.

Somehow, I didn't feel like going home even though my legs were screaming. Because going home is equivalent to starting report and projects. Decided to accompany Meiliangpartner till 5. Me, Kate, and ML went back to MPH to sit around and talk/train techniques. Turned out that some juniors were there, so we had a very mini bonding session. HAHA. They are damn hardworking can? Aww. And Wee sum, I tell you the answer when you achieve your split ok? HAHA. :P

Kate sprained her foot, and couldn't walk at all. The guys had to carry her till the taxi stand (at this part, everyone should go AWWWW!). Cabbed with her home (traffic jams along the way). Poor girl. Take care wors!

Okay, done, bye! (:

*Camel tongue lick*