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/Saturday, October 24, 2009
HandWritten on; 11:28 PM

And when I thought I managed to get over it, the irritating weird funny feeling came back as soon as we chatted. Sigh. It's coming to 5 months now. So how long more? Got even worse when the past was being raked up. Double sigh. But too bad, he has the heart for that only one.

And finally when we meet online after more than a month, I don't have the courage anymore. I don't have the determination anymore. I no longer have the drive. It's been more than a year. How long more should I give myself false hopes?

Reality check yus. *snap snap*

I should stop waiting and hoping. It's useless. They are just being friendly.

Oh yay, great! He just left.

If only it's the other way round.

Ah, I should just ignore and have a proper sleep for the week. But, it's not easy. It's never easy, these ridiculous feelings.

Goodnight.